Vicious Circles

Dear Reader

I’m giving you a heads up as in this post I’m going to be talking about depression and anxiety.  Reason why I am giving you a warning as I know that for some reading this will possibly trigger your own thoughts.  However before you disappear please click here as it gives you tips on handling anxiety.


Over the past few years or more on and off I have been suffering with bouts of depression.  Mostly during the winter months and obviously as a woman the monthlies when the hormones rage. Over the past couple of years it’s got worse and anxiety is becoming an issue. So much so that last year the doctor wanted to put me on medication.  I decided that there must be another way.  So I went first for counselling and then for CBT.

Counselling helped to some extent as it gave me someone I could talk to about my issues, my worries and concerns over OH illness and it’s implications. That had to stop when the CBT course started. 

It took a few attempts to get onto the course as since I was not suicidal I was considered low down on the list. The course was a roller coaster but a light bulb did go off. I took on board what was said and carried on. 

However somewhere over the past few months things have gone awry. I know they have as well basically my body is now telling me that I have to tackle this head on. I have to make changes.

For the past two months I’ve been suffering with chronic pins and needles.  I thought that it was connected with the problems that I’ve been having with my hip. The doctor was convinced that it was lack of vitamin B12 due to my Coeliac Disease.  The blood results came back fine.  So she referred me to Neurology.

I saw them yesterday. He basically said that my pins and needles are caused by anxiety. By getting my anxiety under control they will get better.

So I need to make positive life changes. This means I need to watch out for my triggers. I’m beginning to understand the things that trigger my anxiety. Baby steps is what I have to take in order to tackle it bit by bit. 

Surrounding myself with positive people who I can talk to. This means surrounding myself with people who build me up not knock me down.  Those who give back and not those who take. Those even if they are going through bad times can still support me because they are for me not against me.  I need to avoid those who drain me and are negative. 

Keeping up my exercise and increase it. I find it hard to switch off my brain so I’m going to introduce yoga into my timetable as I’ve read that this is supposed to help you relax.  Also I’ll be focusing on the moves and breathing so hopefully no thoughts will get in.

Time management is a key.  One of the things that set me off is lack of time.  I always liked to be busy but being busy has many draw backs. I’ve decided to limit myself and plan my time better.  So I’m making a few rules to limit myself –  no more then 3 nights out a week (including Zumba and knit night) and having a TV/PC curfew of 9.30pm.  Hopefully this will help free up my days off so I can focus on chores.  OK so chores may not be a big deal to some but for me to get the motivation to do them is and if they aren’t done I get anxious and stressed.  By keeping closed lists doing little each day will also free up time for me to de-stress and chill, to have a laugh and to work on goals.  It should also enable me to get to bed on time and get enough sleep.

It’s going to be a long journey but a journey that I want/need/willing to make. Step by step I can do this and I can beat it.


“Maroon, yellow, blue, gold and gray”

Every so often I do go through my stash and I must admit that it does take effort. Well done Dee! 🙂

High 5! Now put your feet up, relax and have a cup of tea 🙂 xx


I have too much yarn.

Well, that’s not entirely true. I still probably have way too much yarn, but today I have a lot less than I did yesterday. Like, four giant Ziploc bags’ worth.

I’d been meaning to go through the yarn closet for a long time now, but if you’re a regular reader of this little blog o’ mine, you know that the past couple of months have been just a wee bit challenging. And the last thing I felt like doing was pulling out all of the bags and sorting through everything I’ve accumulated over the past couple of years.

Not because of the physical work, mind you. It was just the whole idea of sorting through every skein of yarn because, to be honest, there was a lot of poor yarn purchases on my part and I know I’m not alone in this. I also know…

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*May* have to put this in my diary for next year 😉

Recipe For A Yarn

Well hello there, I’ve had such a whirlwind few weeks I hardly know where to start. I know I never blogged here about Edinburgh Yarn Fest but I did on the Richmond Knitters blog.

The weekend was an absolute blast and there was so much to do and see that it could have easily gone on for a day or two longer for me. Bee and I decided to spend the first day shopping and then we’d booked a class for the morning of the second day. We arrived just before the doors opened and already there was a queue around the block of knitters eagerly waiting to get in.

There were lots of vendors that I’d never heard of and a few who I’d heard of but not had a chance to check out properly. I’ve taken a lot of business cards with a view to future purchases too…

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Blessings on Good Friday

Dear Reader

It’s been a strange Lent for me as this year as I didn’t give up anything or take anything up. Due to being rather busy at the weekends even attending Church has been a bit haphazard!

However Easter is now up on us and since it’s a Bank Holiday for me I’m taking the time to catch up with you guys with a round up of what’s been on and off the pins.

Firstly I ended up frogging a project as it had been a wip for so long that although I tried I just couldn’t get my head back into the pattern.  I’ve found another pattern to do with the yarn but as yet I’ve not casted on.  Brain has been a bit fuzzy and buzzy for a few weeks which has meant that my down time concentration has suffered.  However I did manage to focus on finishing the Glasgow Rose Shawl


Here it is blocking.  On the next pic though you can see somewhere I got a bit lost as the centre line is not as straight as it should be.


However overall I’m pleased with it. 🙂

I finished a sock and have casted on its friend.  I’ve also sorted out my stash into different projects which meant that I also managed to bag up my odd left over bits and have made a start on two won’t finish till the end of time projects.  For ages I’ve been admiring the Bee Keepers Quilt by Tiny Owl Knits and the African Flower Crochet pattern that has been used in various projects mostly in Heidi Bears designs. I however wanted to use the pattern in a blanket.



How many do I need? Don’t know and I’m not going to worry or think about it.  How big they are both going to be is well…….er. …not decided as yet but possibly single bed size minimum.  After all I’m a lass who thinks big…..Sometimes too big 😉

Keep an eye out on the progress 🙂