Beautiful I find sometimes well a lot that the trouble with blogs is that so much stuff gets sugar coated. I’ve probably done it on here…..but lately I’ve been thinking maybe I should keep it a bit more real.
As you know beautiful I subscribe to a few blogs. Over the past year I’ve unsubscribe from some of them and I’ll explain why. The theme for this year is journey so as I’ve delved into myself and through my searching I’ve realised a few things. However before I share that and the blog post that caught my eye that started a thought process we have to go back a bit.
Almost seven years ago hubby’s health took a bit of a major wobble. A lump was discovered within his brain. We didn’t know what would happen. During that time I went deep into my faith and within some areas that I had been exploring with God doors became open.
As part of that journey I decided that I should try and be the best wife I could be. So I explored blogs written by Christian Women to gleam answers. A lot of these were written by women living in the USA. Now beautiful if you are American and reading this please do not be offended by the next few lines. This is how this English woman saw them. The blogs were full of white dazzling smiles, white picket fences, roses around the door with meatloaf and apple pie for dinner. Everything was glossy! Everything was perfect from the way they served God to how well the kids were doing at school. Something to aspire to…. or something to be envious of?
Now IMHO the hardest commandment is Thou shall not covet, but in some way I did covet that type of life. Over the past couple of years I found that a lot of these blogs were fuel for my depression and anxiety. OK so there are many triggers but the idea is not to feed them.
There was no point in coveting that life. My life was never going to be like that. Never. Ever. That is not my path. So I took the decision to unsubscribe from many of them.
This blog TBH I hadn’t paid much attention to as nearly every post that I was emailed focused on different studies from the Bible. Please understand beautiful I’m not disrespecting the writer of the blog but I did find that this blog was a bit sickly sweet, but due to the Bible Study (note I never have time to follow) I kept the subscription. Then last week in some respects the sugar got dusted off. This post became real even though within it there’s a testimonial.
As you know beautiful Hubby is still here. There’s is not much they can do for the lump. The lump is very slow growing. He can still work and it doesn’t interfere with the way we live.
One of the things I’m going to try and do is be more honest with the blog and my thoughts. Hopefully beautiful you’ll understand and carry on this journey with me.
On Ash Wednesday I made the point of finding something each day to be thankful for and to blog about it. Yes I learnt to be more grateful, but my attitude about the blog was challenged. Did I like the layout? What would I change? What is it’s purpose? I did have the some of the same thoughts as Kate over on Woolwinding http://woolwinding.wordpress.com/2013/03/29/wither-woolwinding/
(apologies for some reason I can’t do links presently!).
Was my blog getting anymore readers? Is this imporatnt you ask dear reader? Well on some days there is only one – my mum but then aren’t mums supposed to be nosey and your biggest cheer leader in life? In my opinion yes and mum I’m grateful that you read it – I love you lots! x
Should I be worried about the lack of readers?
I came across this article which I found very interesting http://eddiegear.com/blog/10-reasons-no-one-visits-your-blog/
in it he mentions this article here:
So is my blog relevant? What is my writing voice? How would I describe me? More importantly how do others describe me? How they would describe me is how they see me – a few of their words I guess would be generous, loving, quirky. So is that me? Well yes to a degree and the better side of me but does the blog reflect that? I’m not sure.
Is it important though? Well we only get one life and we need to spend it in the best way we can. For me that is doing things that I love to do. I found the app really useful during Lent as it allowed me to blog every day. Now that Lent is over I may not blog every day but I will still share with you moments of my life. I hope I can still remain a little bit of an enigma, after all I have many varied interests that I feel it’s hard to put me into a box. Maybe that is my problem – there is no direction to the blog.
However by having no direction I can share with you my thoughts that will let you question how you see things. Somewhere on this journey we will connect and find a common ground.
I’ve made a few changes and I hope you like them – the layout, the header and the about me. There is still twitter. There is a signup which I hope more will use. I’ve updated the blog roll – I will make a point every so often to check the links to see if it is wrking and that they are up-to-date. I’ve found that there is a trap with blogs – they get started but not up dated – I know that life gets in the way!
A blog is a diary it tells the world the story of your life. This is mine. Thank you for reading.
Blessings! 😀 x x Ali
My blog is followed by two people. I’m not sad about it just saying. My mum – obviously but then your mum is always one of your biggest cheerleaders. The other is David who I work with. He is following it as part of creating a course on WordPress and if you are interested in it here is where you find the info .
To help in the planning I’ve been doing some research looking at other people’s blogs including the ones I follow plus some new ones. In the process of doing this it has thrown up some questions about mine. Why am I doing this? What am I trying to achieve? What is it’s purpose? What is it’s focus? How can I make this blog better? How can I develop my voice? What about my writing style?
So improvement is required and when I have some time off in a couple of weeks I’ll be making a few changes. Hopefully the improvements will be a good thing. I will also be using some of the help things that I’ve found to assist in the changes.
I see this as a way of growing and developing. This can never be a bad thing, of which I am thankful for.
I can’t remember when or how I learnt to read but somewhere during my early years I was taught. I do have some memories of being read to by my dad and they are good memories. I have memories of being in the library and reading a book about a Koala Bear called Melissa. My parents have an embarrassing memory of going out for a meal and coming back to find that the neighbour who had been watching me, had been asked to read the same book over and over again to me – why were they embarrassed? Well the book was about how boys and girls are different. I also have a memory of when I was about six when I changed schools due to a house move and getting very upset at given a small thin book as a reading book. My reading book before that was a big chunky one which naturally I wanted to continue to having.
Obviously working in a library I have access to books and recently came across a book called The Big Stone Gap Bookstore I thought it was one of those books that fictionalises an aspect from another series and presumed it was a take on the Big Stone Gap series by Adriana Trigiani – imagine my surprise to find out that this book was actually non fiction, real and that Big Stone Gap is a REAL PLACE! 😀
I love stories about small town America. I have visited New York City which was wonderful but I have a dream to travel to places that are small town America and places like Lancaster County (Amish). To think now may be one day I could visit Big Stone Gap? It’s joined the list!
The thing that I love about Wendy Welch’s book is that she shares her love of reading. I do love reading but found a few years ago when hubby’s health took a slight turn for the worst that I lost my reading mojo. It was bad. You are looking at a lass who used to eat books and could easily read a book in 24 hours. I never went anywhere with out a book.
I was given suggestions of how to overcome it but nothing worked. I would pick up a book and read the same line over and over again. Nothing would sink in.
Luckily knitting saved me at that point. Wendy also knits – just out of interest! However my reading mojo has never really recovered so when I do find a book that I enjoy reading I am grateful.
Reading is something that many do take for granted like you dear reader reading these words. Have you ever imagined what it would be like if you couldn’t read? Would you be able to cope? I once was asked to do some training on that subject. I used pictures and instructions to operate a piece of equipment which were written in a foreign language. There was a lot of nervous laughter as they tried to understand but the message did get across – if you can’t read life can be very difficult.
So next time you read a magazine or a newspaper, that text book for your degree, that classic for your English Literature class, that bus timetable, that cake recipe or even a book for enjoyment remember to give thanks!