How to look back with a smile :)

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This I borrowed from Facebook off a page called “Anxiety and I”.

This time last year I heard about the jar and created my own. Due to hubby’s work commitments over the New Year we sat down yesterday evening in front of my mum and dad and opened the jar. At the top hubby had left a special piece of paper thanking me for a very special Christmas time. I have kept that one.

The others we opened together one by one and it made us remember all the happy times – some of which we forgot. Stories were swapped as we laughed together and reminiscence the past year.

The jar is now empty ready to be filled with memories of this coming year (don’t worry a piece of paper will go in for yesterday). If you are going through a bit of a tough time at present I urge you to find a jar, label it and on pieces of paper write every good thing that happens to you or your loved ones over the next year. So this time next year you can remember how awesome 2016 was no matter what life throws at you!

Blessings 🙂

It’s New Year’s Eve

Here I am again lighting the candles and pouring a glass of wine whilst I review the year.

As you know dear reader I always do this. There are many out there who are glad to see the back of this year. For me I feel different. To be honest this year has had its trails especially with Hubby’s health, but I’ve learnt a lot from this year of which I am grateful for. I feel that we are both been made stronger because of it.

For the first six months I battled with anxiety and depression. I saw a neurologist as I had constant  pins and needles. He put it down to anxiety and although I’ve not been back to the doctor experiencing pins and needles is the main symptom of General Anxiety Disorder.

Over this past year I’ve been slowly learning about me. I redid the Myers Brigg personality test and came to understand that really I need to embrace aspects of my personality. What some would class as weaknesses I can if wish improve on or accept that this is part of who I am.

I have also learnt what helps and does not help my depression and anxiety. I’ve learnt what triggers to try and avoid.  It’s not always easy but baby steps is what it’s all about.

This year has been full of babies. I lost count by Easter! There has been a new addition to the family. My sister is in the process of adopting a sibling for my niece. This will be legalised next year.

You would have thought that with all these babies I would have been busy knitting stuff but the anxiety robbed much of my focus and concentration that all I could cope with for a while was knitting little hexipuffs.  By September I felt that I could try knitting baby things but it’s been slow.

My theme for last year was supposed to be #yearofmaking – making I did. Maybe not in the way I thought.  This year’s theme is journey/travel. It was set roughly by August after I had booked the hotel for Cherish.

At Cherish God scored a strike.  After EVERYTHING I said to Him during that weekend Charlotte Gambill mentioned infertility and I went down. Now regular readers will know my issues are slightly different and of the decision, but that doesn’t switch off the what I am going to call “the maternal need” and the biological clock.  Boy have they been strong!  However I need to find a way to channel the maternal need in a constructive way.

This will be part of next year’s journey finding ways in which I can put my skills and the love I have in my heart to good (God) use. The journey includes actually doing some of my past aspirations and resolutions just to learn about what I am capable of! There is actual travel plans in place too. As well as Cherish there is a weekend away in Malaga and a week in Rome, plus trips round the UK – a busy year full of potential and opportunities.
Blessings 🙂

Getting carried away!

I got so caught up last night in preparing for the party that I forgot to do one of my New Year’s Eve traditions – my review of the year in my own personal journal.  I got a bit angry, then a bit sad and then a feeling of joy and thankfulness took over my heart.  Here I was on the brink of starting a whole new chapter of life and I was going to do it with people I love – Hubby, my friends and 2 of my Godchildren.   We had a great time!

Now that it is half way through the first day of the year my thoughts now turn to not summing up last year but in thinking of what I want to achieve this year.  I can’t remember what I resolved to do last year.  It will be written down in my old journal but truth be told I can’t be bothered to go and find it!  After all it is history!

I tend not to make resolutions I make aspirations thanks to a book called Simple Abudance by Sarah Ban Breathnach in which she says that resolutions need to be changed to aspirations. After all you aspire to achieve them and if it doesn’t happen it doesn’t matter because you aspire to do it and eventually you will.

 So this year there are a few things on my list of things I want to achieve.  Three are connected to my statements of how I want to try and live my life –   Get my colours done (Colour me beautiful), Wear clothes that fit my shape and to learn to walk in high heels.  But there are two that I am going to find a real challenge.  Especially since they are two things I love – yarn and books.   Or should that be books that live in the place I work?  You see I borrow so many books from the library that I work in and yet I neglect to read the ones on my shelves that I OWN! They just sit there and I buy more books to join them. . . . and well. ……. I’m running out of space.

Yarn well I love knitting and love buying yarn and it is also jostling for space in my house.  I also have enough yarn for several projects so it’s time to stop for a bit and actually knit up some of the stuff I have (it will also create a bit of space for next year’s new year’s sale!!)

So I’ll use this blog to monitor myself in not borrowing any books from the library bar Lee Child and to read the books on my books shelves. (Bar Lee Child – I’ve just discovered him and want to read the whole series!); and to not to buy any more yarn till I have knitted up all the projects of which I have supply for.

Wish me luck!  Or better still pray for a lot of strength – I’m going to need it! LOL!

Happy New Year!